The Way You Look at Me
by cmm1127
Summary: It's been days, but Hailey still can't stop thinking about the way Jay looked at her after she told him that if she was going to follow anyone blind, it would be him.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first time writing an #upstead fanfic. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

**The Way You Look at Me**

"Sarge no! Sarge no! Sarge stop!" Jay yells at Voight as he attempts to stop him from hitting the Homicide cop in the face again. Hailey stands back and lets Jay do his thing – protecting Voight from himself for the second time this week.

Once they get Voight to walk away, Jay and Hailey head back to his truck together. It's been a long day, and a tough case, and for the first few minutes of their drive back to the District, they ride in silence. Hailey is the first one to speak, "That was good of you; back there, with Voight."

"What do you mean?"

"He wouldn't have stopped himself. He's hurting. He cared a lot about Lexi."

Coming to a stop at a red light, Jay takes the opportunity to look over at her. "I know. We all need someone who looks out for us."

Looking back at him, Hailey responds, "Yeah, well…Adam seemed to be doing the opposite; kept pushing him to make rash moves instead of waiting it out and doing things the right way."

For the rest of their drive, they're both quiet, deep in their own thoughts. Hailey contemplates Adam's actions. She wonders when he took his "moral code" to the next level…wonders when he started acting like he's taken over Al's responsibility of looking after Voight…wonders if he knows he's got neither the experience nor the smarts for that. Her thoughts also turn to the partner sitting next to her. She thinks about how far he's come, in part due to her pushing him, and how his moral compass always seems to be facing the right direction…or at least in the same direction as hers.

When they get back to the District, Adam pulls Hailey aside and invites her to watch a movie back at his place. She declines, telling him she's beat after the draining day they had. The reality is, her head is still spinning with thoughts from earlier, and she prefers to be alone. He says he understands and walks her to her car. Hailey stops for a pizza and a six-pack and heads back to her apartment.

She's one beer and a slice into her dinner and she starts to think about where things are going with Adam. She didn't think it would turn into anything, but they have fun together and there was a certain comfort in having been friends first. He's part of the team, her family, so of course she cares about him. She can't help but wonder though, does she care more about him than the rest of the team? In particular, does she care about him more than her partner, Jay?

Jay…her partner in every way, except _that_ way. He knows more about her than anyone else, and he's the person she relies on and trusts implicitly. He has seen and understands her pain, just as she has with him. They also have their "thing", and they're there for each other after every tough case.

Hailey thinks back to the other day, in the observation room, after the case with Aiden. She thought she saw something in his eyes when she told him that if she was going to follow someone blind it'd be him, but quickly left the room before he could say anything else.

Hailey looks at clock. It's just after 10:00 pm. She's only had two beers with her three slices of pizza, so she knows she's good to drive. Before she can talk herself out of it, she throws on her jacket and boots, grabs her keys, and sends Adam a text to let him know she's on her way over.

Fifteen minutes later, she's walking into Adam's apartment. He pulls her into a hug and upon pulling away, he grabs her arm to pull her back in for a kiss. "I'm surprised to see you, babe. Thought you were tired?"

She looks at him hesitantly, "Adam, I…"

He quickly catches onto her body cues, "Uh oh, this doesn't sound like the start to a conversation I want to have."

She continues, "I know, Adam. Look, this has been fun. It was unexpected, and I do care about you. But not the way you care about me, and, not enough to keep this going. I'm really sorry."

He nods. "Well alright. I didn't exactly see that coming. But look, the Unit…we need to keep our personal business personal for their sake. We can't have this affecting us on Monday morning."

Relieved, Hailey replies, "yeah, I get it and I'm with you, 100%. We're good. I'll see you on Monday Adam, and again, I'm sorry."

"Goodnight, Hailey."

"Bye, Adam."

Hailey walks out to her car and breathes a huge sigh of relief. She didn't realize how much weight she would feel lifted off of her after having that conversation. She glances as her watch – not quiet 11:00 pm. She gets back into her car with a new determination.

Five minutes later, she knocks on the door to Jay's place. A couple minutes pass, and she starts to second guess herself. Before he can turn to walk away, Jay answers the door, clearly surprised to see her.

"Hailey, you okay?" He thinks she looks off, nervous even.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Can I come in?" He moves aside, letting her into his apartment.

"What's up, Hailey? Can I get you a beer?" It's not like her to show up at 11:00 pm unannounced; not that he isn't happy to see her.

She nods, and he walks to the fridge, pulls out two beers, and removes the caps. He hands her one, studying her face.

"The other day, when you asked me about Aiden, and I told you that you looked at me, and I got it…I trusted you. And if I was going to follow anyone blind, it would be you…"

"Yeah, I remember our conversation, what about it?"

"The way you looked at me after...I can't get it out of my head. You seemed surprised, and honored, and a little in awe. I've never had anyone look at me like that before."

"Well you do amaze me, Hailey. I've never had anyone have that kind of trust in me. You're the best partner I've ever had. Even Erin and I didn't have the kind of partnership and trust that we do. We have each other's backs during and after a case. We can talk about anything. We don't judge each other, and we always make each other feel better. I wouldn't get through the bad ones without you…and apparently we can now communicate through just a look."

She thinks for a moment. She knows it's now or never. She needs to know. She takes a large swig of her beer before asking, "Is it more than that though?"

He looks at her carefully. "Wha…what do you mean?"

She meets his eyes. "Is it more than partners?"

He feels like she's looking right through him now. "Hailey, you're with Adam so I..."

Hailey quickly decides to tell him everything…lay it all our there and see what happens. "I'm not. I'm not with Adam anymore." She continues, "when Adam and I first got together…"

Jay looks uncomfortable, now. "Hailey, I really don't wanna hear this."

She touches his hand. "No, you do. You need to." Jay nods, walks into his living room and sits on his couch. Hailey follows him, taking the seat next to him. She grabs his hand, hoping it will provide her with the support she needs to continue.

"When Adam and I first got together, it was on the night you got shot. I was so scared, when I walked up and saw you lying there on the ground, covered in blood. My hands were shaking as I ripped open your shirt, searching for the bullet wound, silently praying that you'd be okay…that I wouldn't lose another partner. After we talked on the back of the ambo, I walked away and broke down. Adam saw me came over to make sure I was okay. I thought you were dead…he said it was the adrenaline and suggested we go get a drink. One drink turned into many, as I attempted to drown my feelings. In the morning, I swore it would never happen again. I didn't want it to. But it became a distraction for me, so I wouldn't have to think about my true feelings."

Jay is staring at her now. "What feelings are those?"

Hailey's staring down at her hand, still intertwined with Jay's. "The ones I've been burying pretty much since I met you. Because I promised myself, I would never fall for another partner. Because I knew you made yourself that same promise."

She looks up at him now, and he's already looking into her eyes. Those eyes, he thinks… the same ones that literally watch his back every single day on the job. The same ones that have been looking out for him and pushing him to be a better man from the first day he met her. He always knew she cared about him, but now when he looks back at her, he sees more.

"Hailey, I don't know what you want me to say here." He thinks he sees a stray tear fall from her eye, but she wipes her cheek before he can be sure.

"I just wanted, no, needed, you to know, Jay. I love you, and not just as my partner, or even my best friend; but as the person I want to be going home with at the end of every day, not just the bad ones. That's where my trust comes from, Jay. It's because I love you."

It's Jay's turn now to have tears in his eyes. After Erin left, he never imagined he'd have a true partner again. But here she is, sitting next to him on the couch, pouring her heart out. Of course, he's felt it too, but after learning about Adam, he thought it was one-sided and did his best to continue being the supportive partner and friend he's always been.

Jay lets out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. Hailey is looking down again, clearly trying to avoid full-on crying. "Hailey, look at me."

Hailey looks up at him, and he frees his hand so that he can wipe the freshly fallen tears on her cheek. Holding her face in his hand, he tells her, "Today, when you were talking to that psychopath, it was me who was scared. Only a few weeks ago, you were taken right in front of my eyes. You have no idea how scared I was that it was going to happen again. I didn't protect you that day, and I swore to myself I would never not protect you again. It's my job to protect you, because I'm your partner. I also need to protect you, because I love you, too."

She lets out a small gasp. "You, what?"

He smiles, with that smile that he reserves only for her. "I love you, Hailey."

Relief floods over her, and she finally smiles back at him. "I love you too, Jay."

Jay pulls her into his lap and puts his arms around her waist. She wraps her arms around his neck, and for a moment, they just look into each other's eyes, much like they always have when they were trying to communicate the feelings they weren't ready to put into words.

It's Hailey who leans in first, her lips finally meeting his. She pours all of her feelings and love into the kiss; all of the emotion she's been pushing down finally being set free. His kiss is filled with just as much love for her. The kiss starts out soft, sweet, and slow, but when she takes a breath, he uses the opportunity to run his tongue along her bottom lip, seeking entrance. The kiss quickly escalates, tongues dancing, her hands in his hair, while his softly stroke her back.

After a few minutes, Jay breaks the kiss. He lifts her off of his lap, grabs her hand, and pulls her in the direction of his bedroom. "C'mon, it's late, and you're not going anywhere tonight."

She smiles back at him. "Wouldn't dream of it, Halstead. Lead the way."

* * *

Please let me know if you'd like to see this continue.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters. All writing is my own, but characters belong to Chicago PD/NBC.

* * *

Chapter 2

Hailey follows Jay into his bedroom. Upon entering the room, she looks around and takes it all in. For as many times as she's been at his apartment, this is one area she's yet to see.

Jay watches her as she stands rooted to her place, right inside his bedroom door. "You okay, Hailey?"

Coming back to reality, she looks over at him, "Huh? Yeah, I'm good, just uh, this is a little surreal right now. Certainly not where I saw my day ending."

Jay looks at her, understanding completely how she's feeling. "Yeah well, me neither." He walks over to her, taking her into his arms. He leans back to meet her eyes, "But, I'm so glad we are finally here." They both lean forward, touching their foreheads together. This is a moment they've both secretly been dreaming about for so long. They stand like that together for a few seconds, or maybe minutes – neither can be sure, they're just glad they are finally holding each other.

Hailey reaches up and her hands cup Jay's jaw. She looks into his eyes, and notices that they're much darker than their usual perfect baby blue. She leans in, her lips crashing against his once again, this time, it's much less tentative. She takes her hands off of his face and runs them down his shoulders before sliding them down his chest. Hailey can feel Jay's heart racing and knows hers is matching its pace.

Jay breaks the kiss to look at her. "Hailey…" It comes out as barely a whisper, his husky voice filled with lust.

"Jay…" Her voice, too, is raspier than usual.

Jay walks Hailey backwards and they fall onto his bed together. Jay is on top of her now and she wraps her legs around his waist to pull him in closer. He leans in, capturing her lips in a bruising kiss, while his hands explore her body. When he gets to the hem of her shirt, he carefully slides his hand inside. She lets out a gasp at the contact of his hand on her bare stomach. His hand continues up, finding the lace of her bra…he did not have her pegged for a lace kind of girl, and lets out a groan at his finding. Eager to see with his eyes what he's experiencing with his hands, he lifts himself off of her just long enough to pull her sweater over her head. He looks down at her, completely memorized by how gorgeous she is laying here like this, half undressed and with her blonde waves splayed across his pillows.

Wanting to feel more of his skin against hers, Hailey grabs the hem of Jay's t-shirt and quickly pulls it off. She runs her hands down his gloriously chiseled abs before pulling him back to her. Jay pins her arms over her head as his lips move from hers down her neck, stopping at her pulse point, which elicits a small moan from her. He slowly moves down her body, leaving a trail of kisses down her neck, on her chest, and down her belly. When he gets to her naval, he places a wet kiss there before unbuttoning her jeans and pulling them down her legs. He takes note of her lace panties then and thinks for sure that this woman is going to be the death of him. Jay runs his hand over her and she involuntarily lifts her hips in response to his touch. He grabs ahold of the edge of her panties and slowly pulls them off as well.

As eager as he is for this, Jay knows they've waited a long time for this moment, so he wants to take his time and enjoy every second. Using his thumb, he gently rubs her most sensitive spot, eliciting another moan from Hailey, before pushing two fingers inside her. "God, Hailey…" he grunts, finding that she's so ready for him. "Mmm, Jay…" is all she can manage to get out as she enjoys the ministrations of his skilled fingers. It's no surprise to her that he knows exactly where, how, and how fast to move them to provide her with the most pleasure possible. Hailey finds herself panting and knows she won't be able to take this for long. He continues kissing her and she runs her hands through his hair, messing up his usually perfect style, but she doesn't think he'll mind. Her hips are rising to meet every thrust of his fingers and she's unsurprised by the fact that he knows exactly what she needs to push her over the edge. Minutes later, she feels a familiar clenching of muscles, and he must feel it too, because he breaks their kiss to whisper, "come for me, Hailey" in her ear. She doesn't think sexier words have ever been spoken, and that's all the encouragement she needs to let go. "Ahh, Jayyy…" she moans his name loudly as she comes around his fingers. He slowly removes them, and she shudders at the loss of contact.

Looking at him, Hailey observes, "Hmm, I think you're a bit overdressed now, partner." Jay smiles and lets out a little laugh at her use of that term in the bedroom.

Hailey greedily roams her hands over his body, stopping at the waist of his sweatpants. She looks into his eyes as she slowly runs her hands along the front of his pants, feeling the effect she has on him. He closes his eyes as she strokes him for a minute before tugging his pants down along with his boxers in one swift motion. Taking him in her hand, Hailey confidently strokes him while maintaining eye contact, earning her a guttural groan from Jay.

Grabbing her hands and pushing them over her head, Jay keeps his eyes fixed on her as he finally enters her, and as they join their bodies, he knows she is seeing straight through to his soul. Jay pauses for a moment, allowing her to adjust to him. "You okay?" he asks. "I'm more than okay." He gives her a quick peck on the lips. "Good. Me too."

Holding one of her hands, Jay kisses her deeply as he pulls himself back slightly before meeting her center again. Hailey matches him thrust for thrust, and they easily find a rhythm in this, just as they have with everything else together. They continue exploring each other's bodies with their hands and their mouths, getting to know each other in a way they've both wanted to for far too long. When he feels himself getting close, he lets her know before reaching between them to circle her swollen nub. "Oh God, Jay…that feels…so…I'm going to…" "I know, Hailey, me too…" They come together this time, and afterwards, he falls onto her with shaky arms.

Jay is the first to speak. "That was…just wow."

She looks over at him, strokes his cheek, and replies, "Yeah, I can't I've been missing out on _that_."

He chuckles and rolls out of bed to throw on a shirt and boxers. Reaching into his drawer, he pulls out a CPD t-shirt and throws it to her. "Here, this will look good on you."

She pulls it over her head but not before noticing that it says "Halstead" on the back, causing her to smile.

He's smiling too, so she asks him, "what's so funny?"

"Nothing, I'm just enjoying the fact that you're in just my t-shirt, with my name on it, and your panties."

Hailey rolls her eyes at him and tells him to come to bed.

She awakes the next morning to his arms protectively around her waist. Even in his sleep, he's protecting her. As she lays there watching him sleep, she thinks to herself that this is where she was always meant to be. She might have been able to distract herself from her feelings for a while, but being with this man, who she's trusted, and if she admits it to herself, loved from the start, is exactly where she wants to be. It sure took them a while to get here, but he is absolutely worth it.

* * *

Possibly finished or perhaps I'll continue this to their first day back in the District, together.


End file.
